Friday, July 8, 2011

Nostalgia and Clarity.

Nostalgia hit me big time.

I was on Youtube looking back at the old videos I loved, and there were the usual Jason Mraz, Panic! At The Disco, Il Divo songs from my young teen days, but a couple of them really hit me.

Always Love by Nada Surf. The song of my teen years.

Paper Shoes by Incubus. I can't believe I loved them from 4 years ago.

The best two videos were from MSSM 2008 in Kuching, Sarawak with the best bunch of friends I've been blessed to have.

Watching those videos, after 3 years still made me laugh.. and almost cry.
I had a knot in my chest from watching it. I couldn't believe how far we've come.
We've all grown up so much.
Some of us aren't on talking terms.
Some of us see each other once a year, whereas we used to play at least 5 tournaments a year together.
Some of us have changed so much.

Amanda, who is the smartest girl among our group, is now on her way to an Ivy League school on a full scholarship.

Joanna is studying in Australia, probably going to graduate soon.

Sharon is a rising sophomore in US.

Abhi is studying law in New Zealand.

And me? I'm headed Sharon's way soon.

It really just hit me that those two weeks in Kuching can never be recreated.
Living in the past is no good, but to be able to remember it is beautiful.

We aren't the same people we were 3 years ago.

We matured. We faced the typical teenage problems. We grew apart.
We have different views, different opinions, different beliefs.
We grew to become individuals in our own right, with our own identity.
We have different responsibilities.
We have a different set of friends.
We have a different life.

Yet, looking back, I wish I could relive those moments. If not for the photos and videos, I think none of us would remember what exactly we did, said, and went through. For that, I thank you Jo. It upsets me that those moments can never happen, ever again.

I guess we still do have a friendship, a bond, but on Facebook? That doesn't count. That's the most communication I have with them nowadays. I was so excited to meet Amanda last week, but it didn't happen. I vow to see her again, even if I have to go all the way up north. It's not considered holding on to the past, it's a continuation.

I remember Sharon and her well.. eccentric dressing.
Amanda's turtle face.
Jo's songs. "Called her on the phone and she touched herself.."
Our IC photos, Abhi and I.
The time Sharon, Amanda and I were in Melaka for training, and Bali for ASEAN School.
The training camps under MALGA.
Walking to Times Square.

That was so long ago. Wow. All of us have been so busy moving forward with our lives, looking to the future, that we rarely stop to think of the things we did in the past. The good things. Somehow I don't remember the bad memories. Maybe they weren't even there.

I guess I need these people from the past to bring with me into the future

Today's song? Rope by Foo Fighters.

1 comment:

  1. :) awwww..... <3 *shinyeyed* i miss those times......